Missing Smerek
by KJL
Summary: A oneshot on Smarti missing her Smerek. Ramble-y feelings drabble.


**AN: Hey guys, it's a Smarti and Smerek moment. Mostly inspired by the fact that I miss my own brother a whole lot and we're seven years apart, so we're sort of close to Derek and Marti. It's probably Derek after college. Marti'll still be in school, obviously. I don't own LWD, or Hot Topic, or any other copyrighted things.

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She misses him. That's all. That's why she's got her hands covering her face and she's sitting at her desk and it's midnight. She's got her music on still and Nora and Dad and the baby are asleep. It's quiet enough to not disturb anyone, but loud enough so no-one hears her crying.

She just misses him. She hasn't seen him in six months and when he comes home he has to meet up with Sam and Ralph and they all _have_ to go out and drink and catch up. He comes home and gives her one of those perfunctory hugs and wanders to his room while texting on his Blackberry. And he says good night when he comes home and he helps Dad fix his car. But does he actually talk to her about anything more important than school? Uhm, no.

And then when he is gone again, having not talked to her, she can't ever get ahold of him. He talks to Nora and Dad about money and life, but does he ever tell her anything first-hand? Of course not. 'Cause of course, she's only his little sister. She's only looked up to him as a hero her whole life. But that doesn't matter, she supposes.

It's just that she wants to feel like she's still important to him. Like maybe he takes time out to miss her too. Or think about her.

He's called her a total of twice in six months. Once for her birthday and once because she had a band concert. She's positive Nora told him, because she's also positive he never would've thought to check on his own. Oh, wait, he texted her once. She texted him first. She saw one of his friends working in Hot Topic. It was her big moment for that day. At least his friends still talk to her.

And of course he's working all day. That's his excuse for why he never texts her or emails her back. Because he works allllll day. So of course, he goes home and sleeps. And forgets about her. Because she's apparently easy to forget now.

He's her Smerek though. And she needs him around. And he says he's coming home soon, but it'll be more of the same. He'll say hi and then run off to visit everyone else.

Last time at Christmas, she swears the most personal they got was telling each other to turn off their phones in the restaurants. Which apparently only applied to her, with him texting under the table all meal.

One of his college professors wants him to come back. The film guy. He apparently thinks her Smerek is a success story. It makes her laugh. A lot. He may be successful at making videos, but his communication is very sadly lacking.

Oh, she knows boys are bad at communication in general. And that's another thing she wants to talk about. His first year in college, he emailed her every time he heard she was talking to a boy. And how is she supposed to know how to find the good guys from the bad guys if he isn't here to tell her?

He gave her the sex talk, even. Because Nora thought it would be awkward. She knows condoms are six bucks where he lives. She remembers everything about that conversation, because he had just moved to his new house in Boston and he was telling her everything about it so realistically she could see it. And she just wonders where that boy went to.

She knows work is important to him. And maybe things will change when he comes home this time, and he'll tell her everything himself, instead of waiting for Nora to tell her. Maybe. She's highly doubtful, but maybe if she ends up crying all over his bed like she has been for a couple of months now, he'll see her and realize she's still here. Maybe.

She just wants her Smerek back. Casey and Liz and Ed are fine, too, she supposes, but she really wants her Smerek back. Back to how he used to be, focused on her. She supposes that's greedy, but sometimes she feels like no-one else is paying attention to her either. It's like Smerek rules her entire universe. If he doesn't care about her, no-one does. She's just an unimportant person. Even her best friend doesn't seem to care anymore. And her family... well, let's not even go there. They're so busy with the baby they don't know which end is up. She just misses him. If she had him, she'd be fine, she swears.

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**A/N: Probably wayyy ooc. But no-one really got to see Marti grow up too much, soooo. This is how I would portray her if Smerek were to leave her. Yeah. Let's go with that. :P **


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